House Lifestyle

Coziness comes from life


[C]oziness comes not from what you *put* in your space, but [how] you *live* in your space…

Coziness is about intimacy, but we don’t often think about intimacy when decorating our homes. Truly cozy spaces in a family home are ones where we feel drawn to be together, to be so close that we can feel the warmth of each others’ bodies.

I’ve been annoyed that even over the past ten years of living here, my living room does not feel cozy or inviting, no matter how many throw pillows and blankets I add. And I think she’s onto something here with her description of “rhythms of coziness”: using the space makes it become cozy. We spend almost no time in our living room, so we don’t really have memories or rituals in the space, and the accessories of life and comfort don’t make their way there.

Scale is another tricky element — with only two people, we’re floating around in too much space, and the raised ceiling looks pretty but feels less human scale.

Lifestyle Society

The thirst for living authentically drives an obsession with immersive experiences

Quoted Postscript to worldbuilding by terry nguyen (gen yeet)

But so much of modern life seems to be structured around distractions, such that today, we seek out its opposite: pure immersion. We want more life, not necessarily real life. Fear of confronting our widespread inattentiveness, I suspect, has led to a popular intrigue towards “immersive experiences,” anything that blinds our senses and overwhelms any sense of self.

Getting Shit Done Personal Growth

Precious productivity



Self Care Work

Rest ethic

Quoted 103 Bits of Advice I Wish I Had Known by Kevin Kelly (The Technium)

The best work ethic requires a good rest ethic.

Future Building

Invest in beauty

Quoted by Austin Kleon (Twitter)

“What we need today more than anything else is to invest in beauty, because beauty is harmony which comes from chaos. But we invest in chaos, because chaos is much more profitable than peace… Beauty is a kind of safety valve for people.”

Activism Political Commentary Society

A right contingent on political whims is not a right

Quoted Roxane Gay: The Roe v. Wade Draft Decision Shows It’s Time to Rage by Roxane Gay (

We can’t let this country become a hollow theocracy.

“We should not live in a country where bodily autonomy can be granted or taken away by nine political appointees… Any civil right contingent upon political whims is not actually a civil right.”

Roxane Gay

Our rage is not hysterical.

Getting Shit Done Personal Growth

The reckoning of the to-do list

Quoted Hundreds of Ways to Get S#!+ Done—and We Still Don’t by Clive Thompson (WIRED)

You want to be productive. Software wants to help. But even with a glut of tools claiming to make us all into taskmasters, we almost never master our tasks.

a to-do list is, ultimately, nothing more or less than an attempt to persuade yourself.

— Clive Thompson

I fit the description in this article: I’ve tried so many different systems and software — Toodledo, Trello (currently using), Sunsama (time blocking blended with to do list), kanban (currently using-ish), GTD, off the top of my head.

I think the author’s onto something with the idea that what we really need, rather than the perfect tracking system, is prioritization and realism about how much we can accomplish. I am getting better at separating my self worth from my productivity but I think that mindset is common in our society. This is what 4000 Weeks is getting at: that we must accept we cannot get it all done. That we must choose.

And if we leave the choosing to our daily selves we get caught up in urgency rather than importance. With that in mind I’ve started to book myself an hour a week at work for “big picture” strategic work. We’ll see how well that works!

Another key thing I’ve realized over the years is that in my life overall, energy and not time is the limiting factor. Remembering and making time to work on long term projects, and finding the activation energy of getting started are my main hurdles.

Self Care

Listening to your FOMO

Quoted Year 2021 in Photos by Mikko Lagerstedt (

Fear of missing out is your inner compass on what you should be doing.

I don’t know that this is always true but worth considering.

Personal Growth

Avoidance through Self-Aggression

Quoted Already Free (

In Already Free, therapist and Buddhist practitioner Bruce Tift examines how psychotherapy’s “Developmental” approach of understanding the way our childhood experiences shape our adult selves both challenges and supports the “Fruitional” approach of Buddhism, which tells us that the freedom we seek is always available.

“Our self-aggression is not just a relic from the past; it’s something we choose to reinvest in, over and over, every moment. We actually maintain a practice, with great effort, of being aggressive toward who we find ourselves to be. If we can become curious about the function this serves, if we invite greater awareness, then we might find that we can work with our issues much more skillfully and kindly… Claiming that we are problematic means we don’t have to engage with our lives fully, because we aren’t ‘ready yet’ — there’s something wrong that needs to be fixed first. [So] we have a good excuse to not show up. And it turns out that really showing up—being fully present, embodied, openhearted—is often a very intense experience. Having a complaint also gives us an explanation for our difficult experience—and if there’s a cause, there should be a solution. ‘I should be able to have the life without disturbance that I deserve once this unfair problem is cleaned up.’ It allows us to continue our disengagement indefinitely, since there will always be some unfair problem in our lives” – Bruce Tift

Mental Health

Burnout Leaves You Charred

Quoted Has Covid burnout permanently changed part of me as a doctor? – STAT by Sudhakar Nuti (STAT)

As a new doctor in training bludgeoned by the Covid-19 pandemic, I worry that burnout has changed me from doctor to debris.

What’s never spoken is that burnout is the remnant of a fire. I’ve never seen a piece of charred wood and thought that some time by itself and some water will restore it to its former state.

— Sudhakar Nuti