Categories
Future Building Lifestyle Personal Growth

Learning to live in community

Liked Themes of a Year (2022) by Anne Helen Petersen (Culture Study)

You’re trying to shore up your own life raft. Putting on your own oxygen mask and worrying about others’ later. But there is no such thing, not in this moment, as amassing enough capital to actually feel secure. You reach one foothold and start scrambling for the next, always focused on you and yours, forgetting that what you really need is a safety net. You need community that won’t immediately use you as a footstool and bitterly and violently sack all you’ve diligently amassed…

It’s so annoying, isn’t it, that the weightlessness and safety we crave requires more work. That to remember we are beloved, we must also do the labor of loving. It is particularly annoying to those of us obsessed with conceptions of fairness that there is no scoreboard to community, either, and that reciprocity is never straightforward, and rarely takes place within a designed period of time. We’re not talking about Giving Tree self-abnegation here, we’re talking about the real difficulty, when you’ve spent your life trying to get ahead, with letting go of keeping score.

Emphasis mine.

See also:

Gifting art

We Should Get Together

Categories
Lifestyle

The Mental Load

Bookmarked You should’ve asked by Emma (Emma)

Here is the english version of my now famous “Fallait demander” ; now available as a book with other stories : Orders available here or here or here ^_^ Thanks Una from unadtranslation.…

Categories
Cohousing

Financing Cohousing

Bookmarked Managing finances in a coliving house by Gillian Morris (Supernuclear)

Friendly advice from the daughter of an accountant

Separate ownership from living so people own different shares in the overall LLC but you could probably do a rent-to-own thing to build equity and make it work out fairly.

Categories
Cohousing

Chore Fairness

Bookmarked Fairness is overrated and bragging is underrated (Supernuclear)

Motivational systems for coliving (and beyond…)

Not sold on this idea. Studies consistently show women spending more time on chores than men in relationships. Women are socially conditioned to be caregivers. That magically changes in a larger group? (Or does it not apply in non-family groups?) Men step up and do their fair share, or women accept doing more work because they get to brag about it, and don’t get resentful?