I could see his brain rewiring in real time: He no longer believed that his clients hired him because he was always available. He was starting to see that it was safe to wait a bit before responding. It was even safe, in some cases, to not respond to emails at all.
I don’t know exactly what to call the thing I felt. “Mental health” and “mental illness” feel corporate and euphemistic, the kind of phrases you use when you’re trying to sell a meditation app, or when you’re explaining to your boss why you didn’t finish the PowerPoint on time. I prefer to think of my experience as having a skull full of poison.
I thought I’d recover from my skull-poisoning and everything would go back to normal, shipshape, better than ever, really! Redemption would have straightened out all the strangeness, like “ah yes, I get it now, this was all for something.” I mean, if there’s no arc, what’s the point? You just felt bad and then you felt less bad? That’s it?
I will happily take feeling better, thank you very much!
I wanted to solve my bad feelings the way I had learned to solve everything in life, which is by being a diligent student and a good boy. But you can’t ace feeling good like it’s a math test, and trying only makes you feel worse.
Listened to Insomnia Podcast
In this episode you will learn:
How our attempts to control our sleep can have paradoxical effects
Two behavioral approaches to insomnia that get your life back from tossing and turning
Common thinking patterns that get in the way of us sleeping
Why willingness and acceptance are key to ending our struggle with sleep
- Sleep restriction – only allowing yourself to be in bed for the amount of time you sleep on average until you build up
- Sleep intervention (?) – getting out of bed and leaving the room when you can’t sleep after 20 minutes
- Willingness is key (willingness to try techniques, willingness to sleep)
- Change your mindset around sleepless nights to reduce the pressure you put on yourself to sleep — it’s not that bad to go without sleep one night, you’ll be fine